Zack's Diary
by Farenheights
Summary: YAOI WARNING! ZACK AND SEPHIROTH PAIRING! Cloud finds Zack's diary and discovers secrets that he never should have seen. However, will these discoveries lead to something more sinister? Chapters edited and corrected.
1. Secrets are best left forgotten

Disclaimer: Squeenix owns. 'Nuff said.

Summary: Cloud finds Zack's personal diary amongst the ruins of Midgar and discovers his little secrets. But strange things start to happen to Cloud as he reads more and more of the private book of his long-dead friend. Is there something, or someone, trying to stop him to read more?

Parings: Zack x Sephiroth and hints of Cloud x Tifa – but very little.

Warnings: Some foul-language, yaoi, and maybe a lemon in the later chapters. Maybe. Beware of crappy attempts at description and grammar too. Some OCC-ness too...

Chapter edited for mistakes - 17 April, 2006

24 October:

_In memory of Uncle John_

_30th September, 2006_

* * *

Zack's Diary

* * *

The book was leather bound and black. It rested heavily in Cloud's hands as he held it in front of him. The simple word "Diary" was stamped into the wrinkled skin of the leather – only for the word "Zack's" scrawled just above it. Cloud sank onto the bed, blue orbs still gazing at the book.

_Should I...?_

_No – its private... _

_Although Zack is dead...  
_  
Shaking his head, Cloud opened the book slowly. The pages were smudged with dirt – and yet were still readable. The first page consisted of drawings and various scribbles of what Cloud barely understood. Flicking through the pages, he skimmed through the words, the text describing Zack's feelings in SOLDIER and what he did this day and that. Then he mentioned Sephiroth – and Cloud shut the book.

"Don't want to know..." He muttered hatefully. But, as time passed slowly in Cloud's small room, he fidgeted and swung his legs over the side of the bed, eyes glancing at the book tossed on the pillow.

Sighing, he picked it up again – only for the book to slip and fall open onto the carpet.

Then the text caught Cloud's eyes as he picked it up, the pages open in both of his hands.

_Dear Diary  
Oh man! I'll –try- and write what I remember of last night in this, but what I can definitely say is that Sephiroth's birthday bash was probably the best I've ever had! He's never celebrated his birthday, and I do not exaggerate, since I found out his date of birth a while back and over the year I've known him, he's never spent a day any different on his birthday. But – anyway! I surprised Sephiroth when he came back from a 'light' walk (five miles...? Geez haha!) – along with Aeris, courtesy for her cooking. And, Sephiroth's actually quite funny when he's drunk... All night we spent smearing icing on our faces, and drinking until we dropped. Sephiroth was giving Aeris back rides all over the room by the time we were on our fifth. I have never seen anything so funny! Eventually the poor guy passed out on the floor! It was waaay after midnight after he passed out – so Aeris and I unceremoniously dumped his carcass on the couch. Hehe, he's cute looking all wrapped up in that duvet. But, I also finally told someone about my little secret, and all I can say is DAMN MY DRUNKENESS! sighs Well, Aeris found it obvious probably from day ONE – which made me cringe – but at least she understands (I –swear-, however, she was sniggering all the way, evil flower girl of doom...laughs). And after nudges and winks from Aeris nearly ALLLLLLL night, I STILL couldn't bring myself to tell Sephiroth... that I loved him._

Cloud stopped, and reread that sentence again.

_"– to tell Sephiroth... that I loved him."_

Shaking his head, all thoughts were revered into one, single loud word.

**"WHAT?"**

Blinking several times at the sloppy text, Cloud forced himself to continue.

_But, seriously, I've been head over heels like never before for Sephiroth for... Gaia knows how long now. So far, we're close friends. And Aeris and I are all Sephiroth has, no joke – especially with that bastard Hojo looming over Sephiroth's life half the time. He knew what would've happened to Aeris if he hadn't gotten her out of those labs after the Turks taking her... But, I digress..._

_He's beautiful, he's kind, and... dammit I just love him and I can't help it! Besides, I wouldn't be surprised if half of SOLDIER were bisexual anyway...  
_  
Cloud cringed, imagining the insults from Barret and Cid if they ever read this...

_But, he's... unlike anyone I've met before. He's had such a shit life – and, well, not to sound dramatic, but a lot of the time I think he's so alone in himself that he gave up ever trying to show what he felt for anything a long time ago. I'm glad Aeris and I got him out of that – especially when he looked so cold on the outside, and a nervous, shivering depressed wreck on the inside to the point that he hates himself. The thought of that scares me – a lot. There's a lot he couldn't do in his life, especially reveal to anyone what happened to him during his childhood. A lot of the time it's a sore subject, but it's only very painful when he can't seem to find the words to tell me when he needs to, when he really, really needs to. It hurts me more when I already know there's nothing I can do about it, especially if it happened years ago. But, at least Seph trusts Aeris and I – which means a lot to the both of us. I mean, Sephiroth risked his safety to rescue Aeris_ _after I barged in all panicking and yelling that those bastard Turks had taken her. He came back the next morning with a rather battered, but alive, Aeris, from the labs. From there, Aeris was a friend for life to him. Arhg... I'm getting' off the point – AGAIN. Aaaaand I'm after running out of ink. Joy.  
_  
For another long time, Cloud gazed at the page, looking rather sombre. He never expected something like this. And the one thought that ran through his mind the most was – Why didn't Aeris say something...? Why didn't she ever tell him, or anyone, about her friendship with Sephiroth? Or that he has rescued her? It was impossible, it had to be... But, it wasn't, as the proof was there, black and white in text...

All three were dead now...

Cloud turned the page slowly, only for a knock on the door to shake him from his reading. Tifa stood in the doorway, looking straight at him.

"Cloud? Are you alright? Did I disturb you?"

"Um.. Um yeah! I'm fine..." Cloud shut the book quickly.

"What're you reading?" She asked, walking in slowly.

Cloud glanced down at the diary, then up at Tifa again.

"A book I... found. Had a look out of curiosity"

"Oh – well, I'm glad you found something to occupy your time other then roaming the Midgar ruins all the time..." She smiled.

"Yeah..." Tifa scratched the back of her head a little awkwardly, "Um. I came to say that dinners ready."

Cloud eased off the single bed, laying the book down secretly on top of the photo so Tifa wouldn't see it and followed her out into the hallway, then into the living room.

"Cloud, can you feed Marshal there while I get the rest of the kids outside?"

"Yeah, sure - ", Cloud answered and lifted the year old infant from his cot and into the chair. The little tot waved his tubby arms at Cloud as the Ex-SOLDIER gave him a smile, trying lamely to get him to eat the brown slop called baby food and failing miserably.

"C'mon you little sod..." Cloud gave a small chuckle, poking the child's lips with the spoon.

When Marshall refused, and promptly slapped the plastic cutlery out of Cloud's hand, he sighed and gave up. God, he'd hate to think what having kids of own would be like, nevermind looking after these orphans.

All through dinner his thoughts were solely around Zack's diary.

Something was squashed behind the rest of the pages, so there were probably photos. Somehow – Cloud couldn't help but feel like something was watching him – almost breathing down his neck.

_Bastard._

Clouds head shot up. Tifa looked up from her plate.

"Did... Did you just say something, Tif'?" Cloud asked, blue orbs sliding from one side to the other. She cocked her head to the side and shook her head.

"No - "

"I must be daydreaming..." Cloud murmured, saying it to convince himself rather then her. Dinner passed agonisingly slow as Cloud's ears were sharp for any other voice other then the orphan's or Tifa's.

But all was quiet – and his skin felt frozen like ice despite the warm weather.

The book sat untouched on his desk as he lay there in bed that night. Cloud stared up at the ceiling – the text repeating itself in his mind.

_- "to tell Sephiroth that I loved him..."_

A shaky hand reached out and thin fingers pushed the book bit by bit off the locker and stopped when he heard the gentle clang of his bin next to the bed.

End of Chapter One ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------- See the review button? It's hungry. Click it to feed it. Um... Please?


	2. The First Warning

Arigatou to those who have reviewed this so far. I'm keeping a pace of updating once or twice a week.

To the reviewers:

**Salem Saori**: Heh heh – well, whoever owns 'em – it certainly isn't me!

**Canyon A.Lynn**: The book will show plenty – don't worry.

Summary: So far, Cloud has read one passage from the diary – and chooses not to read anymore. But does he? Cloud begins to realize that not all it seems – is it the diary? Or something else?

Chapter edited for mistakes - 17 April, 2006

* * *

Zack's Diary

* * *

_"What I have shown you is reality, what you remember – that is the illusion."_

Cloud awoke in a cold sweat, the bed sheets in a squashed bundle at his ankles. He sat there, half of his face hidden in shadow where the dawning sun couldn't touch it. His eyes drooped a little, feeling tight with sleep. It was only dawn – no one else would be up, save for him.

Thoughts of Zack's diary lingered on his mind as he sat there, leaning on his knees, blue eyes looking out the window that was half-covered with a broken drape. He glanced down at the bin, which was nothing more then a black shape against his locker. He slipped the photo out from under the pillowcase and stared at it long, and hard. It was the photo of Sephiroth, Tifa...

And Zack.

Not him.

Zack.

Even after Sephiroth's defeat – something stirred within Cloud. Something that had been asleep for a very, very long time. And it was all because of that photo...

Why would Sephiroth tell him something like this? Why tell him the truth of who he was? Was it a part of the idea to control him? And Sephiroth...

_"No! Cloud! Don't listen to him!" Tifa cried, sinking to the ground as the illusion of Nibelheim burned around them. For a moment, Sephiroth said nothing, watching the flames with an unreadable expression his face. Then he looked at Cloud, and Cloud looked back – only for the SOLDIER to realize that Sephiroth looked... **unhappy?  
**_  
_"Don't worry Tifa – I'm not worried. This all fake." Cloud shrugged, avoiding the Ex-General's gaze.  
_  
But, of course, it wasn't...

_Was Tifa afraid to tell me? Did she think I wouldn't believe her?  
_  
Questions buzzed in Cloud's mind, and he examined the photo again. I still don't have answers... His eyes drifted back to the bin.

_Dear Diary,  
Its been a few days now since I last wrote in this about Sephiroth's birthday... Ehh... and when I told Aeris my little secret. And NOW she's enjoying every second of it! **Every** time Sephiroth is there she gives him the biggest grin and casts a side-glance at me. She dying to tell him, I know it! Although as much as I love the little brat, I'm desperate to just strangle her there and now! Of course, Sephiroth's no idea why I'm so mad right now. He's sittin' there reading the Shin-Ra Times while I'm scrawling in this thing. Actually – I don't even remember where I got this diary from... ANYWAY! (hits head with book)._

_ Getting off the point, as per usual... About Sephiroth, and my little predicament... Aeris is desperate to get us together – although I **doubt** Sephiroth swings that way, although I've never seen him with anyone. Well, not that I'd **let** anyone... AS I WAS SAYING –  
_  
Cloud gave a short laugh, shaking his head. But then his expression fell as he read the next sentence.

_Its been pissing me off so damn much over the last two years. I can't tell him. I really... just can't. Even though Aeris and I are his friends, I know Sephiroth like the back of my hand. He rarely trusts... And the only time I've ever seen him laugh so hard or have so much fun was when he was drunk those few nights before. The morning after I could see he was embarrassed - I didn't see him for the whole day after that. He's not used to it. That's all. So I know, that if I told him what I felt – he'd probably never trust me again. Is someone like that worth this heartache? Well. I think Sephiroth is worth it. Call me crazy, but he is. His mistrust isn't his fault, it was how he was brought up – and I know that well. I'm the only person whom he confides in. (Sighs)_

_ I do admit that its tempting sometimes. I mean – we both live in the same apartment, (a nice one, since I picked out the entertainment system much to Sephiroth's amusement – except he still won't play Silent Hill...), BOTH our rooms have king-sized beds – and... dammit! I just want to wrap my arms around him and tell him. I want to make that silent hurt in his eyes go away... But, like I said... I can't..._

_And I won't..._

_ No matter how much it hurts...  
_  
Cloud shut the book, feeling something heavy on his heart. Since that day of Meteor's destruction, since Aeris came to him one last time – hatred was very far away from his mind. He didn't seem to hate Sephiroth anymore – only he just didn't want to remember. Now he did. He wanted to remember what he had forgotten. But only Sephiroth and Zack knew.

Shaking his head, Cloud made to slide the diary into his locker – until he felt the small bulge on its back. Feeling his heart skip a beat – he slid a small bundle of the photos out from a plastic pocket in the back of the diary, still leaving some in it. The last few pages of the diary itself were blank.

The photos... were actually quite funny.

The first few, Cloud guessed, were the party, as the cake made it obvious. The first one was of Sephiroth – and he never looked more surprised then he did there, standing in the doorway, Zack in the doorway grinning triumphantly, hands on either side of Sephiroth's temples – probably after covering his eyes.

The second was Sephiroth and Aeris sitting at the table, and the cake with candles burning gently. The third was when they were blown out, Sephiroth looking kind of flustered. The fourth had the three at the table, all laughing, and Zack and Aeris were smearing Icing over a helpless Sephiroth's cheeks. The fifth had him then drawing on Aeris' face with the icing, and her smile made Cloud do the same. The rest were total silliness: Sephiroth after lifting Aeris – the pink-clad girl grinning with the icing still on her face. Then Zack, looking very, very strained, holding Sephiroth – while the Ex-General gave a helpless smile.

Then the angles of the last few were all wrong – probably after the three had gotten drunk. He flipped through them until he came to the last with one of Sephiroth after passing out on the floor.

Cloud gave a small laugh, only for it to increase in volume until he was laughing like he wouldn't care if the whole of Gaia could hear him. He looked so peaceful – a sort of dozy expression on his face in the picture.

Then Cloud's laughter died in his throat.

Tifa stood there in the doorway, a horrified expression on her face. She was gripping the sides of the door as if she would collapse.

"C – Cloud!" she stammered, "C – come with me! The living room - !"

He leapt out of the bed, shoving the diary and photos under the covers. Tifa hardly noticed and ran down the hallway without waiting for Cloud. The blonde made for the door – only to slow and stop – but hesitantly started again for the door.

He was halfway through the dark hall until he stopped again. Everything was completely silent.

_Dead. _

_Is that the word you're looking for?  
_  
Cloud spun round – positive he heard the voice. But the hallway was still silent and still shadowed.

"Yes. Dead." Cloud nodded, "That's about right..."

He stood, waiting for an answer. But the hallway remained the same.

"Cloud...?" Tifa's voice shivered. He turned slowly, and Tifa gripped his wrist lightly and led him down. She was pale, almost sickly looking – and never, ever had Cloud felt her grip so weak.

She led him into the living room. Or what was left of it.

_Leave it alone..._

_  
_  
End Chapter 2 -------------------------------------------------------------- ------------

R&R – and I will update regularly. Call it a promise


	3. The voices I hear

Whoa - OO I didn't expect to get this kind of feedback on my first attempt. Arigatou once again for reviewing! Bows I'm really hoping that I can get the scanner up and running, as I want to have drawings of the photos Cloud saw up in my profile... in some lifetime or the next

**ShadowCatLeader**: Welllll... I won't say who it might be yet. I'm actually still deciding. Heh heh – those who love Sephy will love what Zack's going to write in next. Watch Cloud blush! Ah – and Gomen from the last chapter – I only got your review after I posted the second chapter up bows apologetically

**Salem Saori**: I'm glad you like it

**TheHomicidalManiac777**: Heh heh – here it is!

**Goge**: Glad you like it And no, Kieran – I am not telling you anymore then I am to the rest of the reviewers just because we live in the same country! LOL

**ChibiShiva**: I've ideas for that room – but only ideas. I'm not sure as of yet. Hope you like this chapter!

**cancer18**: Arigatou! bows Don't worry about me updating – I try to work on most of my fanfiction everyday.

**Eternal-DarkNess2**: (eats cookie) I'm flattered you called it original Here's the next update!

**atOmicsquid**: Here it is! More suspense!

Also, as a side note: If anyone's curious about Zack's death, or doesn't remember or whatever – he died near Midgar after being shot to hell after the Nibelheim incident when Sephiroth went mad. There will be a short chapter on this, although it's more a flashback from Cloud's memory. I will say no more

Summary: The first sign of what Cloud begins to believe is a warning shakes both him and Tifa – but is the diary to blame? And who is the voice that keeps speaking to Cloud? Also – Cloud begins to see another side of Sephiroth through Zack's eyes, and starts to doubt himself of what he has done overtime...

Warnings: Er – hints of yaoi, implications of self-injury and Zack's potty mouth!

Chapter edited for mistakes - 17 April, 2006

* * *

Zack's Diary

* * *

The whole room was a charcoal black – completely burnt to cinders. The furniture, what was left of it, were nothing more then pieces of black shapes falling apart. It was like the room had been in an inferno. Tifa stood there, still shaking. Cloud stepped into the room, and felt something shoot up his spine – Something... Something...

_Evil?_

He looked down at his bare foot, and noticed that the charred carpet came as far as the doorway – separating it from the hallway. There was a perfect line between the hallway carpet and the living room carpet where it was burnt. He walked in slowly.

"Tifa – when did you put this out? Why didn't you call me?"

"Cloud..." she murmured, and the ex-SOLDIER looked at her.

"I didn't put it out – I...I found it like this..."

"Cloud?"

He turned back to her, "Are the orphans alright?"

She nodded, "They're still asleep..."

He walked towards her, and laid a hand on her shoulder, "I suggest you do the same. It's still early... There's nothing we can do for now."

Surprise sparked on her face, but she nodded again and said nothing. Normally, Tifa would argue her case – and tell Cloud that they had to do something, but... She was spooked – frightened. More frightened then when they were going to face Sephiroth...

_Oh really?_

Cloud glanced over his shoulder, only to take Tifa's arms and lead her back to her bedroom. At her door, she gave one last look at the living room before huddling into her dressing gown.

"Tifa?"

She looked at Cloud, almost startled.

"Why are you so afraid?"

She looked at the floor for a heartbeat, before drawing her redish brown eyes up to meet Cloud's sky like blue ones.

"Something... Something's not right about that room. I mean – what started the fire? There was absolutely nothing in there, not even a fireplace, to spark up a flame. And – what... What was even ... Unnatural, was that..." She paused for a moment, shaking her head.

"The room was ice cold – so cold... And there wasn't a scent of smoke anywhere." she said so quietly.

Cloud folded his arms, "And it seemingly burnt out by itself..."

"Your very calm about all this..." she murmured before walking into her room, "I'm glad – because... I'm scared..."

"There's nothing to fear – I promise..." Cloud nodded, but in himself, he wasn't sure. And with that, Tifa shut the door behind her.

And she was right – why was he so calm? Not that he was complaining – but, the room... The room reminded him of something. Reminded him of a very faint memory. And in that memory he was afraid like Tifa – but now he wasn't. Was it because he couldn't remember? Or didn't want to remember?

_Maybe._

_You always had a bad memory anyway..._

For a while, Tifa pushed thoughts of the living room out her mind while she tossed the ball to Alice, the little girl running and arms waving madly to catch it. The other kids were occupying themselves with toys and board games, sitting outside on the grass. The day was bright, cheerful – the opposite of what the inside of the Seventh Heaven felt like in that moment. Cloud had, once again, wandered off somewhere – and for a brief moment she laughed to herself, thinking that he was like a child sometimes, always disappearing and getting himself into trouble.

And, in this case, she wasn't far wrong from what was to soon come their way...

_Dear Diary._

_ The room is so quiet. Sephiroth always sleeps so peacefully. Heh – I should know, I'm watching him at the moment. But, as much as I like watching him sleep – why he's asleep is what I don't like. I was on my way back to our apartment when I saw Sephiroth at the doorway. He was leaning against the doorframe, his back to me. For a moment I thought he was speaking to someone since he was like that for a long while – until I realized as I got closer that he was shivering, slightly hutched over. I ran up to him, calling his name. I think he barely heard me as he started to slide down the doorframe and I barely caught him. He was so pale I thought he was going to die! Well – that's what I thought at the time, but I sat him down on the ground, and he was barely conscious. Looking up at me I noticed that his eyes were unfocused and he was squinting a lot. He croaked my name as more of a question until he just fainted! Right – now what would YOU do if the person of your dreams was in your arms, unconscious – and absolutely no one around?_

Cloud laid a hand on the page, eyes cast to the ceiling.

"Now that I REALLY don't want to know..."

_(Sighs) Well – I didn't actually... well... try anything. I wanted to, but I didn't. He was a lot lighter then the last time – although I can say that it was probably because I was so drunk that I found him heavy. Anyway - I carried him back to the apartment and laid him on the couch. Don't call this perverted, but I opened his coat and shirt to see if he had been hurt – and I found some bruises here and there around his stomach. And I say bruises lightly – because these shiners were more then damn bruises! He slept for... about an hour before he woke up._

_ I, at the time, had been able to do nothing other then cover him with a duvet and wait. What I wrote above had been during that time. But, when he woke up – he was startled, sitting up and looking around the room like he didn't recognise it. For a moment he was delirious and I had to shake him to snap him out of it. He was staring at me, blinking – like he was waking up. Then I realized - Our faces were very close, noses nearly touching, and I was gripping his upper arms after stilling him. _

_That, and I forgot to button his shirt too (Laughs) - so I was distracted – Despite the bruises, Sephiroth's skin was very soft – and I think he caught me looking - (cringes)_

_ Lucky, and unlucky, I guess, since I let go of him, and I grinned like usual and asked him if he was alright. He had a pounding headache – but explained that he was at the labs with Hojo, again. Hojo, the hawk-eyed little bastard, gave Sephiroth an overdose – which was why the poor guy had to drag himself back to the apartment. Dammit! I could wring that scrawny neck of Hojo's if I see the prick again! Anyway...(I'm saying that word a lot...) Sephiroth couldn't move much either – so he chose to stay on the couch. We talked for a while, but he was drifting off again. He mentioned leaving SOLDIER again.  
_  
Cloud frowned, but continued reading.

_He's said this to me a few times now – wanting to leave SOLDIER. On one side, he's a high ranking general, well paid, and well respected. On the other hand – he has to bend to Shin-Ra, endure those fucking tests from Hojo to no end – and he has no life on a constant monitoring of his actions. He's miserable as far as I can see – and he hates this place. Heck – living with Shin-Ra all your life? Who'd be HAPPY? Even Rufus Shin-Ra, the spoilt bastard that he is, hates this place too. Hm – it doesn't take an idiot like me to figure out why he'd want to leave._

_It's a wonder how far Sephiroth would have gotten in SOLDIER, not asking this to boast, if he never met Aeris or me? There's a lot I know about Sephiroth – even some things he doesn't like me knowing, and I found out by accident. He's so miserable – to the point where he does things to himself to see if he's human. (Sighs) Actually – I don't want to think about that time... as I thought he was actually going to die until that cut healed up in less then an hour with no scar whatsoever... _

_Ah heck – I AM thinking about it now... _

_God he scared me so FUCKING much when he did that! Sitting there on the bathroom floor – and I think my_ _heart stopping beating when I saw the blood on the floor. Oh God – I thought for a moment he WAS dead because his eyes were closed..._

_I was so pissed off with him for that...  
_  
_But, it only made me realize more how bitter Sephiroth was. Even as I write this – the bruises on his stomach are already starting to fade. He won't say it, but I know he won't be happy when he wakes up._

_"I know I'm not human, Zack. This just proves it. What has Hojo done to me...?"_

_That's what he said to me that day it happened – before he burst in fury and screamed at me as to why I cared – why I had to stick my nose in. And I did something I still regret – even though it made Sephiroth see sense. I punched him across the face – really, really hard. So hard in fact that he fell backwards onto the couch. It surprised me more then it surprised him, to be honest. I yelled back – and the fact that I was furious with myself didn't help either, that he was an idiot to do something like that – to make me and Aeris worry – if she ever found out that is..._

_Then I felt even worse when he cried afterwards._

_But – he doesn't do it anymore. The message sunk in._

_So, I'm glad._

_He's still asleep on the couch. And I allowed myself just to kiss his forehead – and now I'm going to bed because I feel like shit right now..._

Cloud's heart felt heavy closing the book. He closed his eyes and took a small breath before letting it out slowly. He shook his head slowly, and opened his eyes again.

"By Gaia... Sephiroth..." he murmured.

He stood up, his legs like cardboard as his skin prickled with blood rushing through his dead veins again. He laid the diary down on the locker and came out into the hallway.

It seemed darker then before -

The kitchen door was open by a fraction, light pouring in through the crack onto the carpet like golden syrup. Tifa's voice was barely audible by the crying of the orphans inside and Cloud bolted into the kitchen. They were all soaked – Alice sobbing while Tifa tried to dry her hair and comfort her at the same time. The other kids were sitting around sniffling and shivering.

"What happened?" Cloud asked, picking up a towel and drying one of the kids.

"It just started to pour rain!" Tifa nearly yelled, her clothes and hair sticking to her, "It was fine one minute and we were drenched the next!"

Cloud looked up at the window – and the rain lashed furiously at the pane, almost like it was angry. He frowned, his lips parting. The sun was hidden behind dark clouds – so the kitchen was as dark as the rest of the house now.

_You just don't listen, do you?_

"How are they?"

"They're asleep, at long last..." Tifa sighed, plonking her weary body down on the chair. Cloud leaned against the cooker, arms folded. His blue eyes were closed in thought.

"This is all a bit strange, don't you think?"

_God – what is going on? Is it Jenova again? No – Jenova's dead..._

"Cloud?"

_Every time I read from that diary – something bad happens..._

"Cloud?"

_But – heck I never believed in Ghosts, and I'm not starting no –_

"CLOUD!"

A blonde head shot up – eyes wide and staring at Tifa, whom was standing in front of him, waving her gloved hand.

"Are you awake at ALL?"

He nodded, slowly, "Yes... I certainly am now, anyway..."

She sighed, "Please stop zoning out on me! We have to do something about the living room. Although I can't go ask for any help right now because of the rain – we should see what's left of the room to save..."

"Its burnt to a crisp." Came the simple reply.

Tifa sighed again, and Cloud began to feel agitated with her already. He stood there unmoving, watching her pace up and down, her brow furrowed in thought. "What we need to do first is..."

But Cloud wasn't listening. His ears were attuned into something else – the living room next to the kitchen.

**_Please stop – you've done enough!_**

_He's going to pay for this... He's not taking the warnings seriously..._

_**No! It doesn't matter! Just leave him alone!**_

_I bet he thought that page was so funny – I bet he was laughing at it all!_

_**He wasn't... Oh God, why can't you hear me...?**_

_He's going to stop reading, even if I have to kill someone to make him see..._

_**You still can't hear me... someone please...**_

Cloud stood stoic, eyes staring and unblinking. Tifa was still talking – but it was nothing but unintelligible noise. The new voice was so... so familiar. And it was so upset – almost crying.

_It... It couldn't be..._

Cloud shook his head, but he knew he was right.

_Its... That's Sephiroth's voice..._

_Its crying..._

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------- Acccck! This chapter sucked so badly! Gomen! I didn't really want to decide which voice was who's yet – but another idea came to me even thought this already had a plot and an ending

Well – feed the review button! Um... Please? And I'll give everyone a Zack and Sephiroth plushie! Er... where can you buy those... ? ;

Daenis


	4. Waking up in a dream

Gomen this took so long! Thank you to those who had the patience.

**Salem Saori**: (gives you Sephy plushie) Heehee, thank you.

**ShadowCatLeader:** Not sure if the whole house might go up (it'd be fun ), but wait and see! I'm sorry if I don't get some of the story across.

**TheHomicidalManiac777**: Again, I'm sorry if I confuse.

**random sephy lover()**: Yup Sorry about the lag in updates.

**Meiko Matsui**: Heehee, I hope you'll like this chapter better. The next one is already on its way very soon.

Note: Yes, that was Sephiroth's voice talking. Cloud's still reading from the diary because now he thinks something has happened between Zack and Sephiroth, and the misfortunes that have happened are linked to it.

Warning: Yaoi, slight violence, and language.

Chapter edited for mistakes - 17 April, 2006

* * *

Zack's Diary

* * *

_Dear Diary_

_Sephiroth's been resting for a few days now since my last entry. He's still really tired, and the bruises have long since vanished, but in a way, Sephiroth looks like he couldn't face the world right now. I've been taking one or two days off (ok, ok, a week, but for a good cause!) to keep him company. Its good, and its torturous. I was speaking to Aeris yesterday on the phone as well. She thinks I should tell him. Gah... I nearly fell over when she threatened to tell him herself! But, truth is, how can I? It's a near impossibility to actually get the nerve to say so. Man... it sucks... On one day though I managed to drag his lazy ass out of bed and get him outside. We spent a while at a coffee shop (me having... what, three hot chocolates? Heh heh) Sephiroth was in absolutely **no** mood for talking. Or anything for that matter. Whatever was bugging him was worrying me. Then he asked me something that made my heart stop beating._

_"Something's been on your mind for a long time Zack. I know it's to do with me, but I don't know what it is."_

_Talk about Naiveté Sephy-boy... But, it made me wonder, almost accuse Aeris of perhaps saying something to him, but I couldn't be sure. Sephiroth's naïve, but he's not stupid. Maybe I was acting a little bit too out of it! Oh shit... What if he suspects...? Great, now I'm starting to sound like a woman. Pff... I didn't know what to say, but then I asked what made him think of it that way._

_"As cheerful as you can be, I know something's bothering you. There's... an air about it around you."_

_Oooookayyy... Um. Shit? Should I be worried? Should I be falling into a state of absolute PANIC right now? I'm damn near close enough to..._

_We left the café afterwards, not a word spoken between us. It was an uncomfortable silence actually...Sephiroth was looking around like he was on his own. I have a really, really bad feeling that maybe he does know...? When we got back to the apartment, Sephiroth asked me if I was taking any more days off, I said I wasn't, and... did he actually look disappointed? Oh come on Zack! Get real..._

_Then I said I'd see, because I wanted to take another few days off. Something flickered in his eyes – I could see it, but he sat down, face in a book before I could say anymore. As usual, Sephiroth didn't budge from that spot until well into the night, and I usually found him after falling asleep, the book on the floor. Tonight was no different. I sat down next to him, but that's all I did really. I just sat there, not looking at him. I stayed up all night. Not once could I shut my eyes and think about him. Being so close, I didn't trust myself. His question is still ringing in my head, and I think both of us realize that we're a little distant from each other now these past few days. It's killing me! God... I hate this. Sometimes I wish I could just tell him, and if he turns me down, or worse, never speaks to me again... at least I know where I stand... Like I said, it's killing me. And Aeris is just **not** helping. _

_We parted on bad terms on the last phone call as I... gave out. I lost it. She didn't hang up amazingly enough, but I could feel that she was pissed. Then she told me something that got me thinking:_

_  
"If you don't tell him, ever, then perhaps that he isn't worth it. If you love him enough, you'll tell him rather then cowering in constant fear of rejection. Because, Zack, that's what you are being right now! Cowardly!" _

_Man, that stung... But, she's right... And, I decided this: _

_Tomorrow, no! Wensday! I'll tell him full and straight out! If he rejects me – I'm off to the pub to wallow in self-pity (not a bad notion really...), OR! If he says yes – well, he won't be getting off the floor anytime soon that's for sure! Heh heh, I'm actually starting to like this idea now... Well, Today's Monday, so that leaves me tonight, tomorrow, and the day after in the evening._

_ Great. I think I'd need a decade to decide what to say.  
_  
Cloud turned the page, and his blue eyes rose to the wall. The room was dark save for the faint light of the lamp at his bedside. Everything was in a dead silence save for the furious lashing of the rain outside. But that didn't distract him. The shadows seemed to have wills of their own, and he was sure there was something standing there as he watched, eyes blue and determined. I know your there, Cloud thought, But something tells me that there's more to this... His eyes dropped to the book again, and he was sure he felt a tremor through the room, almost like a silent cry.

_Dear Diary  
Um... I didn't tell him. I chickened out at the last minute. It's still early in the night this Wednesday. Who am I kidding? I'll never be able to tell him... I don't feel like writing in this much anymore..._

Cloud flicked to the next page

_Dear Diary  
We'll be heading off to Nibelheim in a few days time. A friend of mine called Cloud told me that it was his hometown. Hm. Gonagaga isn't too far from Nibelheim. I might pay the parentals a surprise visit, provided my dad doesn't beat me to death for not contacting them in so long. Didn't do much today. Trained a few new recruits. Didn't see Sephiroth at all today._

_Dear Diary  
More training classes today for the recruits. One was promising. The rest fell over each other like dominos. Did nothing for the rest of the day and sat around the apartment bored. Sephiroth's still working at his office. We haven't spoken much. Patched things up with Aeris too, so, I guess that's one bit of good news..._

_Dear Diary  
Trained. Watched TV. Went to bed._

_Dear Diary  
Did nothing.  
_  
_Dear Diary  
Nada...  
_  
Cloud noticed the date. The last entry he read was two days before Nibelheim. He turned the page again, and found Zack's very last entry in the diary. His room seemed to shiver, almost come to life. He looked at the wall of shadows again.

"What happened?" he asked.

But no one answered.

_Dear Diary  
We're leaving for Nibelheim tomorrow. Cloud's pretty excited about it. I tried being cheerful, but I guess I could just fool any cadet really. I managed to start talking to Sephiroth again also. Hm. We didn't talk about much really. On one side, Sephiroth seemed to be really eager to get me talking, but as the day dragged I just got sour with everyone. I was also sick of looking at Sephiroth, so I just left him at the table without a word. The rest of day was spent staring at the TV after training. I let the cadets off early. I was getting sick of them too. Then Sephiroth came in. THEN he asked me was I alright. Yeah, absolutely** fucking** FANTASTIC Sephiroth! Great! Peachy! Happy as friggin' dandelions! I stormed out. I went to the pub. When I got back, Sephiroth had gone to bed, and I literally just felt like shit. I didn't really drink much either, so I was in a happy-ole sober state.  
_

_Its half two now. I'm still not in bed. There's nothing on TV._

_Its three o'clock now, I'm very bored._

_HOLY SHIT! You won't believe what just happened! It was going on half past three, and Sephiroth came down from his bedroom. He asked me why was I still up. I was still moping around, so I just shrugged and said I couldn't sleep. I didn't even want to look at him anymore. But then he sat down next to me, trying to get me to look at him. THEN he pulled my face to meet his, and he was looking really pissed off. He asked, (er... more demanded) what the hell was wrong with me over the past few days – aaand... I kissed him. And he kissed back! And its funny, I found out Sephiroth slept with nothing on, and all he HAD on at that time was a dressing gown. I DID say that if this worked out alright, he wouldn't be getting off the floor. Instead it was the couch , heh heh. Well, first it was the couch, THEN the floor. You don't really need to know the details inbetween.  
_  
Cloud laughed a little, "Not really..."

_But, hey – what can I say? Life is gooooooood... _

_We'll be leaving Midgar in about six hours. Until then we can do what we want. Once or twice Sephiroth tried to wrestle this thing off me as he spotted his name written. I ended up on top again - HA! _

_But, being serious now. I explained everything afterwards. And all I can say is that I think I owe Aeris a huge Chocolate Fudge Sundae. And speaking of which, she'll be over in a while to say goodbye. Better cherish what time Sephiroth and I have before we leave._

The rest of the diary was blank, and the lights went out.

Calmly, Cloud closed the diary, set it aside and stood up. He felt his way towards the door and into the hallway. Thunder cracked and shook the house, but Cloud continued to walk towards the living room. Over and over the sky split with blue streaks that scarred the black sky, giving Cloud some light in the living room once he made his way down.

He stood there in the middle, looking around. Another bolt shot through and lit the room in a neon light. In that moment Cloud saw someone. Lighting flashed again, and that person was nearer. Cloud stood up straight, hoping his eyes weren't playing tricks on him, but, somehow, he expected him to be here.

But, before he could say anything, two hands wrapped around his throat and squeezed, pulling him down to the ground. Cloud croaked as he struggled, kicking and punching at something that didn't seem to be there. Lightning flashed again, and dark Mako blue eyes bored down into Cloud's wide ones, half of his face shrouded in shadow. The ceiling began to spin, until another flash showed something appear behind his attacker, and two thick arms wrapped around his attacker's waist, hauling him off Cloud.

The blonde ex-SOLDIER gagged as he fell onto his side, eyes rolling in his head. He heard a small, faint cry, like an echo, before everything went blissfully black.

Hope you all like this chapter. And again, I'm really sorry for the delay.


	5. Til Death do we part

AAAaaaargh! This took FAR too long! I am so sorry! I have many excuses... except most lead to me being lazy... (grins stupidly as readers sigh) Now the reviews:

**Serena McKeenzo**: I'm glad you like it (grins)

**babymar-mar()**: Its Zack that's attacking Cloud. I'll have a better explanation in this Chapter

**Salem Saori**: Heehee, I was tempted to actually let Zack suffer, buuuut...Nah! Believe me when I say I wish I had a Sephiroth plushie...

**Ardwynna Morrigu**: Whoa. Thank you (bows), lots of compliments there! (grins)

Chapter six will come up much sooner – expect it in at least two days or less. That's a promise. Note: This is the flashback, of sorts...

There will be... Perhaps another one or two chapters of this as Cloud gets closer to finding out what's after happening to himself. Some of these ideas were inspired by InyuYasha, and a little of FFX. The link to the drawing of the photos I did are up on my Profile page.

Arigatou people

Chapter edited for mistakes - 17 April, 2006

* * *

Zack's Diary

* * *

_I think... I had a dream. I can't really call it a Nightmare although the dream wasn't a pleasant one. What's happening to me?_

Everything was pitch black, and yet, for some reason Cloud could feel the ground beneath his feet. He could feel his body standing up straight. Wasn't he just unconscious on the ground a few seconds ago? Or was that hours? He shook his head.

"So... Confused... Where am I?"

"Even I couldn't tell you, because I don't know either."

"Huh?" Cloud opened his eyes, and saw himself looking back at him. The image was so blurred, and Cloud could only make out an outline of a blonde haired-person. Then blue eyes stared back him, the same endless blue hue that had unnerved people – like he had been marked as some sort of_ thing_ when he joined Shin-Ra's SOLDIER.

A mirror? He raised his left hand, expecting it to do the same, only it didn't.

"Are... You me?" he asked him, or more himself.

The other Cloud nodded, "I'm you. Only, a different you."

"A different me? What do you mean?"

The other Cloud spread his arms, showing off the blue SOLDIER uniform, and Cloud realized this 'Cloud' was also a few inches shorter then he, with a rounder face and big eyes. "I am what you see. I am you, only I am you in a different time, and I am a you that you cannot remember." Younger Cloud said.

Cloud blinked, "I can't remember 'a' you? But I remember most of what SOLDIER was like." As his sight became a little clearer, he noticed that the place the two were in looked like some sort of mirror room – only the mirrors were hanging in midair, while the rest of the place was just some kind of endless dark. Cloud reached out and touched Young Cloud; only his fingers met freezing glass.

"So you are a mirror." He said.

Young Cloud nodded again. Cloud recalled that he always did that even when he was small...

"You never really had much guts to speak to First Class SOLDIERS, never mind cadets of low ranking like you." Young Cloud said. His voice hung with disappointment, much to Cloud's astonishment.

"I disappointed myself." Cloud stated softly.

Young Cloud shook his head, his chin low on his chest.

"But that was different, I thought SOLDIER was everything back then. Right now it means nothing to me." Cloud continued.

Young Cloud looked up at him, and his pupils had grown so small, Cloud almost couldn't see them.

"So you think, Cloud, so you think." His eyes went wide, the pupils growing into slits and a mako green colour bled into the blue. His hair grew longer, a silvery white colour flowing through the roots. His skin turned pale, like he was dying, and his eyes closed. He began to shrink, and his clothes changed from the blue uniform to something plain and pure white. His entire face glowed, blinding Cloud for a second, until the light faded and before stood a little boy, no more then eight or nine years old. The eyes opened, looking up at a horrified Cloud hauntingly.

"Se--- Sephiroth?" Cloud stammered. The Sephiroth child blinked at him slowly, then the mirror rippled as he moved. One tiny pale foot stepped out through the water-like barrier between Cloud's world and the unknown.

"What did you hope to find out by reading that diary?"

The voice was Sephiroth's, the Sephiroth that Cloud knew and not the child-like voice he was expecting.

"I don't know – maybe that Zack might've mentioned me and I could remember something." Cloud replied. Sephiroth looked at him with a tired gaze.

"Is that the truth? Human curiosity never ceased to astound me." He said.

"Well, I was curious as well, but that was the main reason why."

"You've really angered Zack's spirit, and you knew that the more you read, the more furious he would be. Why did you do that?" Sephiroth almost demanded. His tiny frame was by no means threatening looking, if a little creepy, but the voice was intimidating and angry.

"Something was wrong – so I had to find out. Zack would eventually reveal himself, so I kept reading it."

"I see." Was all Sephiroth said.

"What is this place?" Cloud looked around again. The mirrors began to rotate, and, Cloud swore he was imagining this, but words began to slide across the panes of the mirrors. Then he realized that they were sentences from Zack's Diary.

"This is a part of your mind that you've forgotten. Zack's around here somewhere as well, but I don't know where. I forced myself into your dream because Zack wants to destroy you from the inside. Each of these mirrors are pieces of your memories."

Then Sephiroth pointed to some mirrors with jagged cracks splitting down the middle. "These are memories you can't remember. That's why they're cracked."

Images swirled around on the panes, vague images that Cloud could see as himself and other people he faintly recognised. "But – why are you helping me? I killed you, and yet, you saved my life back there."

"That's just it, you don't remember what really happened in Nibelheim, and so in a way your hatred is not your fault..." Sephiroth said slowly.

Before Cloud could say anymore, Sephiroth walked up to him and took his hand into his own pale tiny one. Then Cloud noticed the drip needle in Sephiroth's arm. The tube was torn and hanging a little off his arm. There were puncture marks on Sephiroth's thin bare arms and the ghostly child looked a little emaciated.

"Did you...?" Cloud asked as he allowed Sephiroth to lead him.

"Look like this as a child? Yes, I did."

"You look... Awful." Cloud said

"Do you want to find out about your memories or not?" Sephiroth glared.

"Sorry..." Cloud murmured.

The child led him through the endless lines of mirrors and stopped at one. It showed the old Nibelheim that Cloud knew before it was destroyed. Sephiroth stepped through it and Cloud followed. Once they were through, Cloud looked at himself, realizing that they were transparent, like ghosts. Before them stood the adult Sephiroth's platoon, and Cloud saw himself in the blue SOLDIER uniform once again. Zack was standing next to Sephiroth, grinning as usual. The grin fell as they talked, Cloud catching snippets of conversation about Sephiroth's parentage.

"My father..." the adult Sephiroth sighed, then began to laugh – an eerie laugh that made Zack raise an eyebrow. The child Sephiroth and Cloud followed them as the platoon walked into the town.

"Lets move on – this is too early" the child Sephiroth said and led Cloud into the Shin-Ra mansion. Inside, there were soldiers running around the place, calling for Sephiroth. Zack ran inside and up the stairs, Cloud and the Child Sephiroth following him. Zack felt around the walls until he found the stairway to the basement. Down there, was Sephiroth, reading feverishly.

"Seph? Are you alright?" Zack walked up to him, laying a hand on the General's shoulder.

Sephiroth's head snapped up, blinking.

"You've been down here for days! What are you reading that's so interesting?" Zack asked.

"I was born here." Came the reply, eyes heavy with no sleep.

Zack's eyes widened, "Oh. These books say so?"

"Apparently... "Sephiroth flipped a page, "Hojo wrote these... Wrote about my life. And the Jenova Project I was...made from."

"Made from?" Zack exclaimed. Cloud frowned.

_Zack never told me about this conversation._

The Child Sephiroth looked up at him but said nothing.

"I was made from this project! I was... MADE! Like some kind of toy!"

"Seph – calm down. That can't be true..." Zack laid his other hand on Sephiroth's second shoulder and made the slightly shaking General look at him. "Hojo's always lying – please don't fall back into this state of believing him, because something like this is impossible! I've told you a thousand times already that you are human!" Zack nearly yelled, his grip tight on Sephiroth's shoulders.

Sephiroth's head fell, "I'd like to believe it Zack..."

Zack sighed, then yanked the book out from Sephiroth 's hands, tossing the old thing to the ground a few meters behind them, surprise on Sephiroth's face evident.

"_Enough_ of this shit, Sephiroth. You need sleep, badly." Zack ordered. Defeated, Sephiroth allowed Zack to lead him out of the room, an arm around his waist.

The Child Sephiroth lowered his head, "It was already too late by then..."

Cloud looked at him, "Why?"

Without looking at Cloud, the Child Sephiroth replied, "Jenova was already in my body by the time I walked up those stairs leading to her rotting corpse. She possessed me – but she needed her head, so I was made go back..."

The two turned back to the adult Sephiroth and Zack, and Sephiroth had stopped.

"Seph? What's - " Zack asked, but was interrupted by a gloved fist to the face. He staggered backwards, holding his jaw. Dark blue eyes stared at Sephiroth in shock, then Zack straightened. Sephiroth's eyes did not shine, and the cat-like pupils were so small that Sephiroth looked blind.

"Out of my way," he said hollowly, "I'm going to see my mother..."

He slammed the door, locking Zack inside before the raven-haired SOLDIER could react.

"That was one part, Cloud, that Zack didn't tell you about, because no one would have believed him." The Child Sephiroth said as the whole library around them began to fade with Zack shouldering the door, screaming wordlessly and soundlessly as his face disappeared. Again he took Cloud's arm and more mirrors appeared around them. The Child Sephiroth stepped into another cracked mirror, Cloud following behind. They were now inside the Mako Reactor, and there, on the stairs, were Zack and Sephiroth. The General was sprawled on the stairs, barely conscious, as Zack was half on top of him, and then Cloud realized that blood was dripping from the steps. The crimson liquid was dribbling down from Sephiroth's parted lips, and he was very, very pale. Zack was lying still; eyes squeezed shut as it looked like he was trying to protect Sephiroth. Tifa was on the bottom stairs, also injured and bleeding, and barely awake. But that wasn't the only thing that made Cloud freeze, as above them, stood an exact replica of Sephiroth, holding Masamune. The blood it spilled was sucked up into the shining blade. As Cloud stepped closer, the Child Sephiroth loosening his grip on Cloud's hand, the blonde ex-SOLDIER peered at the replica of the Sephiroth above all of them.

'Sephiroth's' eyes were glowing a golden colour, and Cloud swore he heard a faint heartbeat coming from somewhere. Zack stood up, sliding the Buster Sword from the sheath on his back. He turned slowly to face the replica.

"You – you bitch." He could hardly speak, "I'm going to make sure you stay dead by the time I'm through with you."

The 'Sephiroth' laughed, a mixture of Sephiroth's own voice and Jenova's.

**_"Oh Really? That'll be a challenge, human."_**

Zack gave a yell and hurled himself at the 'Sephiroth' and swung the Buster Sword, only to be tossed backwards by the Masamune and straight down near the real Sephiroth.

"Z... Ack... Don't..." Sephiroth croaked, lifting a hand to him.

"I died there and then." The Child Sephiroth said, "That's why Zack was so full of hate." 

"But what I don't understand is that Zack said I killed you." Cloud asked.

The Child Sephiroth shook his head, "What you destroyed was my body, that Jenova animated from the dead. I was long gone before you even realized I was 'alive' again. I was buried in an unmarked grave so Shin-Ra wouldn't have to explain my death. Jenova found the grave and preserved my body deep in the Northern Crater."

"Then what was that Sephiroth I gave the Black Materia to?" Cloud pointed out.

"You destroyed the perfect replica Jenova made of me, so instead she used one of the clones Hojo created to do her work for her while that body was growing inside that so-called 'Promised Land' the Vice-President found." He explained.

"But what was all that about being a God and such?" Cloud asked.

"That was Jenova's plan. The whole 'Mother this, mother that', was the clone talking, because it saw Jenova as it's mother, like all the clones did in the Reunion." The Child Sephiroth frowned in disgust.

Zack lifted the Buster Sword again and ran after 'Sephiroth' that had disappeared into the Chamber holding Jenova's body. He was thrown out and knocked against one of the tanks, the Buster Sword sliding from his hand and fell to the metal floor with a loud clang. Then Young Cloud came in, seeing the carnage, and Tifa's still body. He carried her to the other end of the room carefully, his face stricken with sadness.

"C... Cloud... Cloud..." Zack strained to talk, "Run... it...that thing... will kill... you..."

Instead, the young Cloud lifted the Buster Sword and ran up the stairs, halting at Sephiroth's body, and he let out a yell, suddenly sprinting up the stairs.

"And that - is what happened..." The Child Sephiroth said.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------

Hope you liked this, peeps.


	6. Still an illusion

Here's the next chapter as promised!

**Ardwynna Morrigu**: I'm glad you like it (grins) but Zack getting locked in says a lot? What do you mean?

**babymar-mar()**: Here you go! Chap 6 as promised!

**Serena McKeenzo**: Um... (scratches head) I'm God? (smiles stupidly)

Chapter edited for mistakes - 16 April, 2006

* * *

Zack's Diary

* * *

The air was still and quiet as Cloud sat amongst the floating mirrors in the endless black abyss. Near him stood the Child Sephiroth, stoic and silent even for someone so young. The flashback repeated over and over in his head, and Cloud had a feeling he was in for more. 

"I'm still dreaming. Why is that? What am I supposed to do?" Cloud asked finally, looking over his shoulder at Sephiroth. The infant gazed at him for a moment; his Mako green eyes glowing brightly like street lamps in the dark.

"That's up to you. Zack is forever cursed with wandering the planet. He refuses to rest until he finds me."

"You mean you can't go to the Promised Land?" Cloud asked in astonishment.

"No. Jenova's spirit is still alive, if barely. She can do no harm, but I am invisible to both the living and the dead because of her – until you found the diary."

Cloud stood up stiffly. He'd been sitting there for a long time. "But, I don't understand. What significance has the diary to you _or_ Zack, despite it being his? Despite bringing his ghost into the Seventh Heaven?"

"When a person is refused admittance to the Promised Land," Sephiroth explained sadly, "They are left wandering the Planet like ghosts, as you now know. Zack refused to enter because I wasn't there, since I was already long dead before he. The ghost is left and abandoned, and wandering around the world, caught between the living and dead, their memories start to fade. Soon I had forgotten who I was, what had become of me, and I wandered aimlessly watching people's lives."

He paused as if to gather himself before continuing. Around them the mirrors flickered, and a faint shimmer passed through Sephiroth's pale figure.

"It is said that a ghost's memories lie in something that's connected to the living world. It could be a person, or an object, or whatever, but that something has to have a strong significance to that ghost. When you read the diary, Zack could hear your voice. When I heard my name from that diary, I awoke from that endless oblivion."

"So... it's like a connection to the two of you?" Cloud glanced at the mirrors again as words flickered across them.

Sephiroth nodded, "Unfortunately, Zack died full of hatred. Those that die with regret or sorrow or fear end up as wandering, vengeful ghosts. He can't hear me because I am like this, and he doesn't want to go into the Promised Land and leave me behind. That kind of vengeance eventually takes them over."

"So he's out of control?"

Sephiroth nodded again, "Yes, he is."

Cloud began to pace, arms folded, head down.

"Does this mean I'm trapped?" he asked after a moment.

"It means Zack is going to kill you from the inside. Vengeful spirits, if provoked enough, can enter a sleeping body. What's interesting is that Ancients could do the same, when they're alive."

Cloud's head snapped up at him. Sephiroth smiled, and for a moment Cloud could see the old Sephiroth he knew, the tall and stoic General he once looked up to. There was a dark humour in that smile. "Indeed, Aeris could so do the same, but her powers were minimal for her age. She could see ghosts and spirits that were reborn from the Promised Land and see what was born from their souls, be it plants or animals or humans. Hm. Someone so innocent looking, capable of such mind-breaking skill. She's more dangerous then I was ever made to be."

"You seem to find that funny..." Cloud frowned.

"Of course, I see it as Fate having a morbid sense of humour..." Sephiroth chuckled, and Cloud's frown deepened .

The two were silent for a long time, Cloud touching the mirrors of other memories, Sephiroth staring off into the darkness, listening to something only he could hear.

_'What am I supposed to do? I can't fight a ghost...'_ Cloud thought,

"How did you pull Zack off m - " Cloud spoke before a raised hand silenced him. Sephiroth was still watching the darkness, his eyes moving around at something that shuddered and slithered through the inky black of Cloud's dream. Then he turned and ran to Cloud, grabbing the blonde's hand and pulled him through another mirror with unmatchable strength. They found themselves in Junon's SOLDIER HQ in the locker room.

"Zack was coming our way – I had to hide you." Sephiroth explained quickly, looking around the empty room, before pulling Cloud into the hallway, "This way."

Wordlessly Cloud followed the spirit as they moved past people in total oblivion to their presence. Some went right through Cloud, others going through Sephiroth and shuddering afterwards. Cloud noticed this, frowning but saying nothing.

"He's getting closer. I can't shake him off." Sephiroth said, urging Cloud to walk faster.

"But what about him finding you?"

"You're no use to me dead, Cloud!"

"What do you mean - ?"

"Hurry!" The two fled outside to the HighWind, the great airship floating proudly.

"STOP!"

Cloud looked over his shoulder, seeing a tall figure running towards them. The shape was blurred like it was incomplete.

"Don't stop! Keep running!" Sephiroth ordered, his voice different from before, and he had a death grip on Cloud's wrist. The Ex-SOLDIER ignored him, still looking back at their pursuer and slowly he could see the shape coming together.

It was Zack, and his face was white with panic.

"CLOUD! LET GO OF HER!" Blue eyes darted back to Sephiroth, who glanced back at him. 

His eyes were a golden colour.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------- --------------------Yep. A Cliffhanger – Bwahahaha! Gomen for this being short – but somehow it suits it for the next chapter. It might be the last one, or the second last, but I've yet to see how I can wrap up the story with a good ending.

Ja Ne


	7. Truth in my words

Ack! I'm sorry this was delayed, and here is my excuse: Had this chapter halfway done and it was the day before I was going up to Dublin (which is halfway up the friggin' country...) and I had this and an Advent Children fic on a floppy. The Floppy drive on my Uncle's modem didn't work – so I had to call home and ask for the story to be emailed to me. (grins and runs to hide under a desk)

**Ardwynna Morrigu**: Whoa OO. I never actually realized that. True, I found it surprising that when Zack/Cloud in the Nibelheim flashback reached upstairs that Sephiroth was gone and that when they got outside that the whole place was burning. (laughs at self) Heheh, I honestly never realized that, and you made perfect sense of it. You're very sharp to spot that! (I guess because in the game it didn't show Sephiroth locking the door that it never occurred to me...)

**Salem Saori**: Don't worry, you don't have to review every chapter! I'm glad you like it!

**Serena McKeenzo**: I'm thinking of another twist in the end, but I'm not sure yet.

**Konie Hime**: I'm sorry you had to wait for this, Hime (that means Princess in Japanese right?)

Chapter edited for mistakes - 16 April, 2006

* * *

Zack's Diary

* * *

Sephiroth's eyes were a golden colour, and Cloud realized he had been played for a fool all along. The world around him seemed to have a will of its own as Sephiroth hauled him through the dream, the air as thick as toffee as Cloud felt himself wading through it. His eyes slid closed unbeknownst to him and he wrenched his hand from Sephiroth's grip in a burst of strength. A faint cry, a sound that did not belong to Sephiroth, reached his ears. It was more of a woman's cry. More of – a demon's cry. 

Then he was gone, leaving Cloud in this swirling dream where he was left to drift inbetween the waking and dreaming worlds. Slowly, he felt the ground begin to dissipate from beneath his boots and he floated upwards, suddenly torn from worry and thought of his situation. Memories began to fade as oblivion set in his mind, until something slid around his chest, breaking the spell over him. A faint hiss of anger seethed in his ears although he was barely aware of where it came from as he felt himself being lowered further and further down, until his body touched solid ground gently.

A hand patted his face gently, stirring Cloud from his deep unconscious state. He was met with a pair of deep-set dark blue eyes, glowing and pupiless. Raven hair fell around a heart-shaped shadowed face similar to a lion's mane.

" 'Bout damn time you got the message Choco-Brain." A taunting, playful voice muttered, Cloud earning another slap to the face when all he did was blink in confusion.

"Zack?" Cloud's throat was dry and sore, like something was almost sucked out of it.

"The one and only." Was the reply, and strong hands hefted Cloud to his jellied legs.

Nearly staggering for balance, Cloud shook his head, his memory slowly coming back to him.

"I... I'm Cloud. I'm twenty-two, from Nibelheim..." He said to himself, Zack holding his arm to steady him.

"She nearly had you in her grasp, Featherhead." Zack tutted, "Contact with another spirit breaks the hold of a spirit trying to possess a body in their dreams. Jenova's pretty good at that."

"Is that... what was happening to me?" Cloud rubbed his throat, feeling cold and afraid.

"She tried to suck your soul out, basically." Zack shrugged, "But I need to ask you for a favour, one you won't like, but hear me out first..."

He laid an arm over Cloud's shoulders and the blonde noticed that Zack's skin was colder then ice, yet Cloud didn't shiver or flinch. Almost like he knew it was cold, but he couldn't feel it. Zack led him away from the mirrors and the darkness, and colour bled through Cloud's eyes as they found themselves in a green field, overlooking the world as it was. It still rained, but neither Cloud nor Zack were getting wet or cold from the droplets that fell.

"What's going on? Zack – I can't trust you either after what's happened. You nearly killed me!"

"Jenova nearly killed you, Cloud" Zack waved a finger at him, "She can pose as anyone she wants, remember? And if you want to know, yes, Sephiroth and I were in love, and Sephiroth _did_ die in the Reactor in Mt.Nibel. What Jenova showed you was the truth, but that was to get your pity so you would follow her more in hopes to 'help' her find me." Zack said with clenched fists, and Cloud saw his body shake with pent-up anger.

"Why you?" he asked, feeling the wind whip through his body, but not one strand of blonde fell on his face.

"Because I'm the only one who knows where Sephiroth's body is, as well as her." Zack plopped down on his backside on the grass, suddenly weary and defeated. "I'm the only one," he continued, "So I'm a threat to her existence. No _body _means no empty shells for her to control. Sephiroth is almost like a large piece of her existence, but that's what his body's made up of - living Jenova cells while her own was just stone cold and preserved in the reactor. Her head was the only thing that was alive, since she's an alien or whatever..."

"But, you can't get to Sephiroth, can you?" Cloud folded his arms.

Zack raised a finger, "Exactly. And that, is because I don't have a body of my own."

"So you want to possess mine?" Cloud's eyebrows came together in a glare at Zack.

The raven-haired spirit scratched the back of his head, grinning stupidly up at Cloud

"Yep, that was the idea alright..."

"I still don't trust you." Cloud said coldly.

"I know you don't, but your trust isn't what I need Cloud."

"What - ?"

Zack stood up without answering and stretched. Bones cricked loudly and he let out a sigh of relief, "Okie-dokie then, you can just wander around this place for the rest of eternity while your body stays asleep in the real world."

He began to walk away until Cloud called him, his blue eyes ablaze in fury as he ran up to him and spun him around. "So YOUR using me as well!" he yelled into Zack's face, hands gripping the older man's arms.

"Not in a bad way, Cloud." Zack said coldly, "But that's just it. I have to do this, not just for my sake, but for Sephiroth's. And Jenova's nothing without Sephiroth."

"But you possessing me? I don't like it..."

"You don't have to, but what I'm asking is to let me stay in your body, and take me to where Sephiroth's is, and free him!" Zack waved his arms frantically, "That's all I want!"

"But - !" Cloud argued, only for Zack to interrupt. "If you stay like this, in this dream, Jenova can possess you in the real world. I hate to break it to you Cloud, but if you don't help me, Jenova's going to come back., and she'll be using you to continue where she left off."

Cloud stood in silence, gaping at Zack. A million things ran through his mind, Tifa and the orphans and what was left of the planet -

"Where is he?" Cloud asked finally. Zack's eyes brightened a little, even if his face remained grim.

"Deep in the Northern Crater where you haven't been to. I've seen him asleep there."

"I thought he was dead."

"He is, except Jenova won't let him die and go to the Promised Land. He's trapped in his own body that's completely useless to him, so he's always asleep in there. Lucrecia's a prisoner in that cave behind the waterfall so she can't get to Sephiroth either."

"You know about Lucrecia?" Cloud asked with raised eyebrows. Zack nodded and slowly Cloud's arms dropped to his side.

"Its easy for spirits to find each other, Cloud. So I found Lucrecia in that cave, and for a moment she thought I was Sephiroth. But, seeing as I wasn't, she cried and cried. She knows he's dead, but what she doesn't know is why he won't come to her. I didn't tell her why – because what good would that do? It would only hurt her more. I stayed with her for days, telling her about Sephiroth as much as I knew since she never saw him herself and afterward I told her I would find him. But, there lies the problem. Even if she wasn't a prisoner in that cave, she couldn't do anymore then I can."

Silence fell between the two. Cloud looked back over the field, watching the green stretch far and wide. He knelt, brushing his fingers over the grass. He couldn't feel the softness of the green blades or the damp of the raindrops pooled in their palms. He couldn't feel anything.

"Has been like this since you...died?" Cloud glanced up at Zack. Zack's shoulder's slumped, "Yes. Being a spirit isn't exactly what you'd call fun."

"And all this time you refused to go to the Promised Land."

Zack smiled, his eyes glowing, "Sephiroth's worth it. Love makes you do funny things, even if you're dead."

Cloud chuckled, straightening himself. "Its hard to imagine Sephiroth – like that, but..." Cloud trailed off, "I didn't see it between you going to Nibelheim."

"We we're hardy going to announce it to the world, Cloud! Of course, seeing the looks on people's faces would've been interesting..." Zack rolled his eyes, his arms folded.

His gaze dropped to the floor. "You've no idea Cloud – How much I really miss him..." He hugged himself, his white lips stretched into a grim line.

"I'm glad Aeris found you, Cloud, before she died as well."

"What... do you mean?" Cloud blinked. Zack gave him a half-smile. "She saw me in you. She was like Sephiroth in some ways, she once told me. They both knew they were something different, something not quite human. It hurt her a lot on the inside because she was alone. As nice as she was, it takes a long time for her to trust others. She trusted me, and especially Sephiroth because both were in the same boat."

"I wish she said something." Cloud sighed sadly.

"And what difference would it make?" Zack waved a finger.

Cloud shrugged after a moment, "Maybe I wouldn't have been so confused then about my past."

"She leaves people to discover themselves, by themselves." Zack said.

"I need time to think about this – my head's going to explode..." Cloud sighed, and then sat down on the grass, folding his legs.

"I can show you proof if you want, Cloud." Zack sat down next to him.

"Proof of what?"

"Of what I'm saying is the truth. And where Sephiroth is."

Cloud was silent for the moment.

"... Alright."

After being led through his own memories, Cloud couldn't help but feel like he was being hauled everywhere like a three year old. Zack was holding his hand as they waded through the world as Cloud never saw it before. Other spirits floated through them, some looking, some smiling, some waving, and some just ignoring them. They were all going in the same direction like a white sea of ghosts.

"They're going to the Promised Land." Zack said, "In the core of the planet. Some have tried to take me with them, but I keep refusing."

As they walked, Cloud watched the blurry world, watching travellers walking unbeknownst to themselves of the spirits who watched them with a little jealousy. There was no wind, no cold or warmth; just hundreds of Spirits flowing in the one direction and the ground beneath Cloud's feet didn't seem to exist. Around him, everything was zooming past him, like they were flying. They passed through Icicle Town in seconds, drifting through the snow mountains and the white crusts of ice on the ground and finally arrived at the Northern Crater. Without a word, Zack led Cloud down into the darkness of the Crater, and the place seemed deader then Cloud ever saw it. There were no monsters, yet things lurked in the shadows like rats, almost like they knew the two were there, even though Zack was a spirit, and Cloud, was technically one too.

"Is my body still alive, even though I'm supposedly not in it anymore?" Cloud asked after a while.

"Its still alive, but the reason why Jenova can't take it is because you haven't let it go. If you lose who you are, you'll lose your body."

"I'm not really dreaming anymore, am I?"

Zack shrugged, "If you help me, Cloud, you'll never have another dream like this again."

They drifted deeper and deeper into the crater, and Cloud could hear someone's voice. It was faint, but grew, as they got closer. The voice was male, and it was crying - a sound of sobs and high-pitched wails. There were more voices as well, all male. Cloud's breath was stuck in his throat as he looked around. Dead tree roots sprouted in and out in the earth like veins, and they glowed eerily. He found himself moving closer to Zack's side as the wails grew louder and louder, and he looked up again at the roots. Long faces stretched over the black bark, faces of men and boys – like the tree bark itself was moving.

"Z – Zack... What the hell is this...?" Cloud whispered, afraid that if he spoke any louder, those pitless black eyes would be upon them.

"Trapped souls for Jenova." Was all Zack said and he took Cloud's arm. The blonde was shivering slightly.

"You get used to the cries after a while..." Zack murmured after a long trek down the tunnel.

More roots sprouted here, but there was less of the wailing. The place glowed with what Cloud guessed was the Lifestream. The roots grew bigger as they passed, until at last they came into an open clearing.

In the middle was a tree, and lying on the tree's head, was Sephiroth.

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The next chapter could be the last. I'll update ASAP, and thanks to everyone who reviewed.

Daenis.


	8. Only the beginning

Note from the author: Here it is! The Final chapter! I hope everyone enjoyed reading this. My next fanfic should be up in two days or less after I post this chapter – but I'm not sure which one to pick. I've a lot of fanfics that have yet to be completed – although only some have actual endings.

This final chapter leads up to the beginning of Advent Children, although the hints are more of a strange idea I had – and I'll have a few explanations below. The other FFVII: AC fic I'll be doing won't quite be connected to this since this was more of a spur/theory I thought about. The AC fic had been in the making for perhaps nearly four months now, so changing it would take longer.

Warning: Blood, gore, violence, sick stuff from my weird imagination – and some yaoi.

Now the reviewers:

**Serena McKeenzo**: Well, here it is! Hope you enjoy.

**Salem Saori:** Well – Cloud is very sincere in this chapter. Hope you like.

**Ardwynna Morrigu**: I always thought Lucrecia should've had a little more attention in the game – and a lot of People would agree that Sephiroth and Aeris are alike (although I can't **stand** SephxAeris stuff...)

**ShadowCatLeader**: LOL, trust me to put him in a situation like that – I'm so mean :P

**Konie Hime**: Well, all things must come to an end – but I hope you enjoyed this last chapter.

Chapter edited for mistakes - 16 April, 2006

* * *

Zack's Diary

* * *

The tree itself glowed in an almost holy glare, but its occupant outshined its ethereal beauty. Sephiroth looked like he was asleep on the branches, save for one arm dangling carelessly down the bark while the other rested over his chest. He was dressed in a black Shin-Ra uniform, the collar edges sewn in gold. His hair was hanging down like a waterfall of silver, some strands caught up on the smallest branches. His skin, however, was cold and white – completely dead. 

For a while, Zack said nothing, and Cloud watched his friend's face soften into a sad and lonely expression as he looked at Sephiroth.

"I remember watching him sleep whenever I had to drag him from Hojo's lab... I.. was glad he was peaceful when he slept..." Zack's voice was gentle, almost ready to break.

"But he's here, right? Inside his body – so... he's not gone..." Cloud replied, wondering to himself if his words held any kind of comfort. Zack, once again fell silent. He looked at Cloud, then back at Sephiroth again.

Without a word, he walked towards the tree and hauled himself up with ease. He sat opposite Sephiroth, his blue eyes almost like ice with sorrow.

"What's very cruel is that – I can't even hold his hand, I can't touch him or hold him. At least... at least then I wouldn't feel so downhearted." His eyes lowered, his black hair hiding them from view.

Cloud said nothing but brought his gaze back to the tunnel of tree roots. The wailing was distant – but could be ignored easily. Cloud found this hard to do, especially when those long sorrowful faces kept crying in his mind. Were they all male souls to sustain Sephiroth's spirit?

He walked over to the foot of the trunk and sat down, his head leaning back and his eyes sliding closed. He was tired, and his head was swirling from all that had happened. His thoughts drifted to Tifa and the orphans as well – wondering if his nosiness had gotten them into more trouble since he came into the dreamworld. Had Tifa discovered his body yet?

"So what's your decision?"

Cloud looked up at Zack. For a moment nothing was said, Cloud's eyes looking carefully at Sephiroth.

"Look at it this way – your helping me rather then helping Sephiroth - " Zack said, his voice almost pleading. Cloud's look stopped him. Something in Cloud's eyes flickered, but Zack wasn't sure what.

"What do I need to do?" he asked.

With that, Zack gave him the biggest grin Cloud had seen in a long time.

In the dark, something hissed angrily. Two yellow orbs resembling more cat's eyes then human ones glared out into the shadows. A familiar face slowly came into view, although her eyes didn't resemble Sephiroth's, even if their faces were nearly the same, and her skin was a pale blue.

Jenova clenched a gloved fist, shaking in anger. She was so close to the failure until that spiky pest came into the picture and disrupted everything. The failure would've been an acceptable alive shell for her to use in the real world...

On the other hand, that Zack person can only do so much as a spirit – and keeping the failure from her was the most damage he could cause.

_Humans do strange things for love_, she thought, _But its something I do not wish to learn about. I want this planet, and neither that Zack creature nor the failure will stop me._

She chuckled in the dark, Sephiroth's armour glinting from an unknown light somewhere. She liked this body, strong and with her face, as much as Sephiroth hated that fact. The light came closer and she turned around, a bemused expression crossing her face.

"Oh? You've come out of hiding then?"

A small colourless ghost floating a little ways above her, glared down in silence – mouthing something wordlessly.

Jenova laughed.

"The only person who can come here is I. They'll never find you my darling."

The ghost gave her a disgusted look at being called "Darling" and made to disappear again until Jenova reached out and hauled the ghost down without even touching it.

"You forget I control everything in here, even the darkness around us."

The ghost screamed silently and struggled with her, but instead she cradled the ghost almost fondly, holding its head against the crook of her armoured shoulder.

"Poor Sephiroth – all alone..." she teased cruelly, "But it won't be for long. There will be more like us once this planet is mine. You'll have lots and lots of brothers and sisters to play with, and they'll all be like you and me."

She let go of the little ghost and it flew up and away from her. It floated there for a moment, a look of despair on its face before it sunk into the endless black, hiding again.

"Who knows, my Sephiroth," She said, shrugging for emphasis, "You might find someone better then Zack – then you'll be happy."

Her golden eyes looked up at the dark oblivion above her, "I'm doing this for you, you know. You just don't realize it yet. But you will, and you'll thank me in the end for it."

The darkness did not answer her.

"So what exactly am I meant to do?" Cloud folded his arms at an excited Zack – the raven haired SOLDIER looking like he was going to start leaping about the place.

"Ok, ok – what you have to do..." Zack calmed himself down and thought for a moment.

"Let me merge with you, and what I mean is by letting me stay in your body. I'll guide you once we're in the Crater and taking Sephiroth's body out of that place will break Jenova's hold on him."

"How will that break the hold?"

Zack looked around at the place before answering, "From what I discovered, she has some sort of invisible barrier so Sephiroth can't leave his body and get out of the Crater. By taking his body out of the barrier, he'll be free to leave it."

"But isn't Jenova in his body also?"

"Her spirit can't do much to a normal living being. With me inside you, you'll be able to see spirits as if you were one of them, so that way we can protect Sephiroth from Jenova when she emerges."

"But I can't touch a sp - "

"Leave that to me. I've six years of pent-up rage to beat on her." Zack said, fists balling and shaking, "My main concern is getting Sephiroth out of that prison first."

"Right." Cloud nodded once.

There was silence for a moment – Cloud expecting something to happen.

"So – how exactly do we do this?" he asked finally. Zack flushed, sweeping the ground with his foot.

"This is going to fell very weird for the both of us – so... Er... think nothing about it, ok?"

Cloud frowned, but said nothing. Zack raised his hands, his fingers stretched out in front of Cloud.

"Put the tips of your fingers on mine and try to blank your mind. This might take a few goes, because I've never done this before."

Cloud did so, and tried to keep his mind empty of thought – which of course isn't easy with the circumstances. Zack instructed him to close his eyes and Cloud did so, the raven-haired spirit doing the same.

For a few moments they felt nothing, until something shot through Cloud's body in a way he wouldn't have liked. His eyes snapped open, and both he and Zack were after falling backwards, both staring at each other.

"Oooookay... This may be more difficult then I thought..." Zack gave an awkward laugh, no doubt he felt what Cloud felt as well.

The blonde shuddered a little, but refused to falter, "Again – we'll try again."

And they did, both men concentrating – and on the final try, a violent shudder wracked Cloud's body, and unable to open his eyes, he felt something cold go through him. Then his feet gave underneath him and for that moment he thought he was falling forever.

"Cloud?" a voice called him.

Something cold and wet was pressed against his forehead, and he stirred, eyes twitching.

"Is he waking up?" another voice asked.

"I think so – Cloud? Can you hear me? Its Tifa."

"Ti-fa?"

"Cloud! You've been out for hours!"

When Cloud opened his eyes, at first, he thought he was in a hospital – everything was so white.

Tifa's face was above his – and she was just so _pale._

_Give me a second – I'm not used to seeing through real eyes yet..._

Zack's voice was somehow calming – even if he was joking, and a voice inside Cloud's head.

Then everything seemed to dim a little until Cloud saw that the ceiling was yellow, and not white, and that Tifa looked normal and healthy again.

"Tifa - " Cloud spoke quietly, "Tifa?"

"Yeah Cloud?"

"I need to call Cid – I'm gonna need the HighWind..."

Both Tifa and Cid glanced over at Cloud, who was leaning against the railing on the far side of the HighWind's cockpit. He was gazing off into the distance, his eyes half-closed and lazy. Both of his companions watched him with worry. Tifa explained to Cid how she had found Cloud lying there unconscious on the living room floor, and how he was so still and pale that it was like he was dying – or even like the condition he was in when they found him in Mideel with Mako Poisoning.

And something about the way he slouched and moved – even talked, it was like he was a different person altogether. Tifa knew he had certain ways of expressing himself, and the motions he often used which made him Cloud. He had shown none of these – but a façade of laziness, and almost weariness.

The fact that they were heading to the Northern Crater of all places, only added it to their list of worries. Tifa pondered on called the rest of the gang, but they were already flying through the Sand Prison near the Golden Saucer Amusement Park when she decided against it.

Whatever was wrong with Cloud, she nor Cid didn't want him to notice for the time being.

Time passed by slowly, and Cloud didn't move once, but continued to stare out at the sky they cut through.

_And that's all we have to do, Cloud. Just follow where I tell you, and find Sephiroth. The amount of times I've been there I've not once seen a monster. I'm guessing they all died after the Crater blew up – the Mako must've killed them._

Cloud understood and Zack went silent for a while. The fact that he had been speaking to Cloud since their departure for the Northern Crater distracted Cloud from doing anything else. His body felt numb, and he noticed that not all of his movements were his own after he woke up. He recalled from memory, that Zack was a good few inches taller then him – and moving about in a smaller body was probably awkward for the both of them. During this whole time he wondered why he wanted to help Sephiroth – or was it really just helping Zack? He wasn't sure, but somehow, being imprisoned inside your own dead body was probably something he wouldn't wish upon anyone.

_I get it – you've felt guilty since you saved the world right? Guilt over Aeris – _

Cloud shook his head a little, _I don't want to think about that right now._

_Let me tell you this much, Cloud, _Zack said, _Even if you did save her – she was going to die anyway, by her own free will. Why do you think she ran off on her own to the City when she knew a clone was behind her? Because she gave herself up to save you – and to save Sephiroth. Continue on – the world's still spinning Cloud, and believe me; I'd cherish every moment of being alive, especially if it's with someone you care about. It may not be Aeris, but at least your not alone._

As much as hated to admit it, Zack was right. He cared about Tifa – and the orphans were everyone's responsibility. The planet itself was slowly healing since Shin-Ra was no more. Perhaps it was a new age, a new start. Maybe that's what Cloud needed.

At long last, the HighWind hovered above the Crater, and Cloud picked up the Buster Sword leaning at his side. Somehow, it felt better then the Ultima did, it felt more familiar – but that could be Zack, and not him, feeling this.

"I'm going alone - " he said as Cid and Tifa came to his side. Both gave him a surprised look.

He smiled apologetically, "This is... something I have to do alone, for a friend."

"Cloud...?" Tifa said, but her voice trailed off.

"Trust me Tif', its something important. I don't know how long I'll be – but... Stay at the Icicle Town and I'll contact you when I'm back out."

And without considering to listen to either of their views on his actions, he swung a leg over the railing and climbed down the rope ladder to the Crater.

Hours passed, and not once did Cloud feel the weight of his sword or his feet aching. It was like he had extra strength –

At last, he, or they, came to the familiar tunnel. It had taken a long time for Zack and he to find this place, and for a moment Cloud dreaded how much longer it would've taken if there HAD been monsters.

He walked down through the tunnel, and again he tried to ignore the wails and cries of souls. Twice he tripped over tall roots and ended up on his hands and knees. The second time had him plunging his hands into what felt like layers upon layers of... cobwebs? He pulled his hands out of the white gunk, the strange substance cold and slick to the touch, but it didn't break like most cobwebs. This... _bounced._

"What the hell IS this stuff?" he asked out loud.

_I've never seen it before. _Zack said.

Cloud's eyes followed the 'web' which turned out to be like a pathway leading to the tree where Sephiroth's body was. He stood up and walked through the tunnel. The white 'webs' didn't break under his feet as he shuffled through them.

Once he got to the opening where the tree was, a gasp escaped his throat. The white stuff was _everywhere – _and it was even half-hiding Sephiroth's body on top of the tree.

But something else caught his eye, and somehow, he had a strong feeling there was more to this web was more then he thought. Sticking to the trunk were _cocoons _made from the web.

_Trapped monsters?_ Cloud thought, as he climbed the tree towards Sephiroth. He pulled the web off the General's body and carefully lifted him from the branches. Cloud was expecting him to literally be a dead weight, but he guessed with Zack's strength and his together the body wasn't very heavy. He hefted the body over his shoulder.

He slid down the tree, one arm awkwardly around Sephiroth's legs, the other trying to keep himself steady.

_Damn them! Damn them! How dare they!_

Jenova cursed viciously, "How the HELL could they have merged their spirits together? There's only enough room for one spirit!"

A light twinkled in the distance, watching Jenova go frantic with rage.

_**I knew it Zack - you and Cloud, you're both different, yet so alike. **_

"You – aren't going _anywhere. _You are MINE." Jenova hissed up at the light. Sephiroth smiled, shaking his head. He mouthed something to her.

Instead of getting angrier, Jenova's body shook, and then a low chuckle emerged from her throat.

The small ghost flickered, surprised.

"You don't realize, my darling, that you who cannot see the world outside you – what I've been working on..."

Her gaze was cold and cruel, and the ghost of Sephiroth edged a little ways from her.

"Alright – I'll let you go if they suceed, for now. But leaving your body behind, especially with what I've gone to so much trouble of preserving it and slowly growing it back to perfection, that it'll just be a soulless, alive body."

Sephiroth's colourless eyes widened, and Jenova's smiled deepened.

"For the time being – it'll be looked after until you come to your senses... Now – if you'll excuse me, I have our guests to attend to."  
And with that she vanished, once again leaving Sephiroth alone in the darkness. He pleaded, with anyone or any god that was listening, that Zack would come back.

With Sephiroth's body on the floor, Cloud circled the tree, touching the cocoons. There were three altogether, one being the smaller of the two. They were also rock solid and hard. Using the Buster Sword on these would only result in breaking it.

"Zack – I have a feeling about these..."

_I know – I mean, where did they come from? Its only been... sixteen hours or so since we were here last?_

"Stop touching them you _Failure_."

Cloud spun around, Buster Sword swung up in defence. Standing above Sephiroth's body was another Sephiroth – only... this 'Sephiroth' was very deformed. One arm was twice as long as the other – blue and purple veins pulsing on the oversized muscle. Various parts of the body were patched with blue and peach coloured skin, all scarred and stretched, as if they were pieces of clothing that didn't quite fit. It was naked, but oddly genderless. It was Sephiroth's body – but it had Jenova's head, that silver helmet and all with it. She grinned at Cloud's horror at the sight of her makeshift body.

"Its not really what I'd wear for such rare guests, but as you can see, its not easy trying to piece yourself back together again..." she said, grinning.

"You disgusting - " Cloud trailed off, only to let out a scream of rage and barge toward her, Buster Sword swung high and ready to cut her in half.

She moved quickly despite the huge weight on her deformed arm, and swung a pair of claws at Cloud. The blonde barely dodged the attack, and leapt behind her, hoping to injure her back.

He drove the sword through her, and purple blood gushed over her arms. Jenova went still. He made to take out the sword, only to realize that it was _stuck!_

Jenova's body shook with chuckles, "Think you can face me without a weapon?"

Her blood hardened around the metal of his sword, and Jenova swung around, tossing Cloud into a river of the white webs. He struggled to his feet as he kept slipping and getting tangled.

Jenova watched with amusement.

"Like a fly caught in a spider's web, _Failure_."

"I have a name!" Cloud roared, tearing at the web furiously. Zack urged Cloud to calm down, but he ignored the spirit and his anger boiled his blood.

Jenova smirked, and with her huge arm grabbed the hilt of the Buster Sword from behind and moved it around, cutting herself open again.

"It's a little annoying – I heal over anything that gets stuck on this body."

She slid it out after another round of playing butcher and held it in front of Cloud.

"Come and get it – and I'll give you another chance, _Failure_."

She stuck it into the ground, and walked towards Sephiroth's body. She lifted him up easily, holding him close to her.

"Think you can strike me with him in my arms, Zack?" she taunted.

Zack, while inside Cloud's body, lost all feeling. The only thing he could see was Jenova, and the sword standing a few meters in front of him. Cloud felt his fury beginning to grow, and it flowed through him, through his arms and legs to the tips of his fingers. Powerful fury. Slowly, he climbed skilfully out of the web despite its tangles – and his hand slid around the handle of the Buster Sword slowly.

"I have a name, bitch." Cloud hissed, his voice contorted with Zack's, giving it an echo. Both were in a state where somehow, their fury combined into something almost – inhuman.

With one tug, the Buster Sword was pulled from the dirt and raised into the air. The two opponents stared each other down for long seconds until Cloud and Zack gave a roar and hurled themselves toward her, too fast for her to see –

"My name is Cloud – so don't forget it..." he said as he went through her.

"N - " was all that came out of her mouth as Sephiroth's body slipped from her arms, and her body along with it. Blood stained the white of the webs as her head slid from its shoulders and fell to the floor. Cloud stood above her, watching her mouth open and close soundlessly, her golden eyes wide. Her eyebrow twitched and she grew still.

The blonde's body shook with anger for a long while, until he collapsed backwards, trembling faintly.

"Please... Let this... be the last time..." he murmured.

Cloud swung his arm, watching the bloody bag with Jenova's head inside it fly through the air and plummet into the sea. He closed his eyes, and heard the faint splash, then released his breath slowly.

A few meters behind him lay Sephiroth's body, wrapped in a white sheet. People had raised eyebrows at the Blonde when he returned to their village of Icicle Area, Tifa and Cid demanding answers out of the ex-SOLDIER – but all he did was borrow a shovel and a large blanket. He left without another word.

He let the breeze blow his hair back – breathing in the stinging cold air. It felt wonderful – and Cloud allowed himself to let his thoughts wander for a few moments.

Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"_Will you bury him over there? I found a good spot..." _Zack said.

"Of course." Cloud nodded, and went over to where the body lay. Zack knelt at the body and laid his hand out. Another hand came out through the sheet and grasped Zack's one. Zack stood up, taking the other hand that appeared and helped Sephiroth to his feet. They embraced, Cloud closing his eyes, but a small smile couldn't help but creep over his lips.

"_Thanks Cloud – I owe you."_

Sephiroth looked up from Zack's shoulder to Cloud, _"I'm not sure what to say... Cloud."_

Cloud shrugged casually, "Nothing to say at all, Sephiroth, but, look after Zack for me."

Sephiroth smiled, Zack's arms wrapped around him tightly.

"_Well – I'll see you in the Promised Land, Cloud"_

The two made to leave, but Cloud smiled widely, "You owe me nothing Zack, we're even."

Confusion passed through Zack's face before he realized, and he smiled, nodding once.

And with that, the two vanished.

Cloud buried the body, leaving a large rock as a gravestone at the foot of it.

As he wiped his brow leaning on the shovel, it began to snow. He watched it float down on him, the tiny white flakes touching the dark ground of the grave.

Above him, he saw two glowing shapes fade into the distance, and he smiled.

A faint groan emitted from the cocoon – something struggling to break the surface of its womb. What looked like a hand pushed through the skin of the cocoon and broke it, sticky webbing and fluid stuck to the person's arm. Green eyes shot open, seeing light for the first time. What climbed out was a slim man, naked and sopping. Another stood a few meters away from him, his short silver hair stuck to his scalp. The two looked at each other, acknowledging once another. They knew who they were. But they noticed one of them was missing, and two pairs of cat green eyes travelled to the smallest cocoon on the tree. It was moving frantically, a small muffled voice almost crying.

The two pulled at the web, and lifted out a much shorter, much younger boy. He clung to his brother, his legs not quite accustomed to standing yet. Their mother was nowhere in sight, and neither was their eldest brother, but they knew what they had to do.

But, for now, they needed rest. The youngest was already yawning.

They all sat at the foot of the tree, leaning against each other for warmth and went to sleep.

Now was not the time, mother had told them, they had to wait.

End.

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Ok – let me explain a few things:

The three are the silver haired guys in Advent Children, Kadaj the youngest, Yazoo the skinny guy and Loz is the burly guy. In the English trailers it said they had obtained the head of Jenova, so I put it in a way where they had to find Jenova's head, and they dug up Sephiroth's body. It doesn't rot since I wrote that Jenova was preserving it – so that would lead to it being the Wheelchair man.

-Edit-

Well, I've seen Advent Children, aaand, well - by now I'd say everyone knows who the REAL wheelchair guy was, so... kinda blows my fic up, lol. Still, I hope people liked this.

Anywhos – if this still confuses, don't be afraid to ask! I hope anyone who've read this has enjoyed it.

Ja,

Daenis.


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